Last night I did indeed sign up for April 14th's Traprock 50K
Is it telling that I also had a horrible nightmare last night in which I was barely able to crawl but I knew I had one lap to go of a race? It was a TERRIBLE dream. It has been on my mind all day and in my musings I have been trying to unwind its meaning.
1) Legs were badly exhausted/broken
: Meaning: This could hit upon my concerns about getting injured in this sport. I am really not that concerned about injury because I am in probably the most conservative and sensible training program possible. Physically right now I FEEL OKAY -- tired a lot but that is more because of my life versus my running. (The whole family has been sick and Dan has been off his feet from surgery for 2 months, now.) My one complaint might be the beginnings of tendinitis in my feet/ankles and an annoying bunion on my right foot.
2) A crowd of runners who had already finished were gathered around the aid station, talking and laughing, while I went out for my next lap on my hands and knees BARELY ABLE TO MOVE.
: Meaning: Oh man I am not even sure how to unpack this one. It's possible that I feel humbled when I am around people I see as "real" runners. (Yes, in spite of completing multiple marathons and one ultra-distance race I still do not consider myself a RUNNER runner.) It could relate to fears of being left behind (which I have had since I was a little kid) or coming in last (which in my conscious brain I don't actually care about. Maybe my subconscious does?) Maybe it simply raises that old insecurity that many runners face before a big challenge, namely, Will I have what it takes to do this?
UGH. Anyway, after paying the $50 entry fee and doing all this training I am not going to chicken out, but having that dream made me realize I am not all hunky-dory in my running universe at present. Interestingly, the dream transitioned into a dream I have (no word of a lie) been dreaming for twenty years: I am in a giant mansion with many rooms, and I am trying to reach a secret room where there is a box hidden. It's always the same mansion, though in some dreams it looks a little different, and this time the mansion was rotting away. Like, I got to the secret room and the floor threatened to collapse under my feet.
I have NEVER actually OPENED the box in any of these dreams, which is kind of interesting.
Cross training is going fine: I go out with a rowing goal of 2000 meters per 10 minutes of rowing, with endurance and strength buildup, not speed, being the purpose. (Speed tends to follow those things anyway and I usually end the workout with sprints. Which is hard.)
I've also started jumping rope, which I have discovered I REALLY SUCK AT. No, really. Jumprope was something I was great at when I was a kid, and now apparently I have LOST ALL ABILITY AT IT. Either I trip over the rope or it gets caught in my hair or ________. I am going to persist at it, though, as long as I have to work out indoors.